I haven’t done a reflection post in a while because I felt like it was becoming a bit monotonous. I wanted to branch out and share other things that are going on in my life. To be honest, I still don’t think that I’ve found my niche, but everyday it seems that I’m getting closer as I devote more time to my blog.
A really good friend of mine just announced that she’s expecting baby #2 and I’m so happy for her. Truthfully, this has to be one of the first pregnancy announcements that hasn’t filled me with intense feelings of envy. I know it sounds awful, but let me explain.
When hubby and I were trying to conceive, every negative pregnancy test was like a slap in the face. I seriously began to loathe seeing and hearing about other women getting pregnant, even those near and dear to me. It just felt like a cruel joke; often I would call out to God asking him to open my womb, and when I didn’t get the answer I wanted, I got upset.
Had I been listening or even mature enough, I would have asked God to help me lose my feelings of resentment, maybe then I would have understood that He was not telling me “no”, I was being told to wait. Hindsight has helped me to realize just how petulant I was being. I’m thankful that God did not give up on me during those very trying times.
I’m looking forward to getting together with my girlfriend and hearing all of the wonderful details. We have planned to do lunch soon, and it will be good to see her. She was such an integral part of my pregnancy, and Lord willing, I will be able to return the favor.
It is such a joy to know that our children will grow up together.