The relationship between mother and daughter has to be one of the most complicated dynamics. Somewhere around the age of 12, young girls begin seeing their mothers in a different light. The once fun-loving relationship begins transitioning into an adversarial one. By the time a girl is in her teens, some households resemble warzones.
I remember going through this with my own mother. By age 14, I absolutely hated her, and had actually said it aloud a few times. I didn’t’ understand how she was the one who had given birth to me and yet had no concept of the person that I was (let’s not forget that I had no idea who I was, but that’s irony for another day). She was like a stranger to me; we didn’t see eye to eye on anything. I wanted to move out; any place was better than hers.
Fortunately, we made it through the teenage years, and while we did not have the best relationship, things did not reach mass destruction. We learned to co-exist, and I did my best to stay out of her way.
As I got older, I began to appreciate her methods, and that was a startling realization. How could the limits that I once abhorred be the very things that I began to crave? The limits that were once stifling were now the same routines that I welcomed and carried into my adult life.
The older I got, the more I began to realize that having structure was a good thing. There was actually something very compelling about establishing and following a routine; it helped to add a balance to life. As an adult, I looked back on my angry, adolescent self with bemusement. They say hindsight is 20/20 and I tend to agree.
During my early twenties, my mom and I actually formed a relationship, which has since then developed into a friendship. I enjoy talking to and sharing my life with her. She has become someone that I actually look forward to speaking to every day. The older that I get, the more I realize just how valuable our time together is, and I do my best not to take her for granted.
It took me having my own child to realize that my mother was setting me on the right path all of those years ago. She wanted me to be a responsible, intelligent, healthy adult, and that came with some growing pains. As I look back, I realized that this is exactly what I want for my child, and while I may not implement the same methods that she did, I pray that the overall outcome is similar.
With Mother’s Day just around the corner, I thought it would be appropriate to reflect on just how far we’ve come on our journey. I’m glad that the cracks in our relationship were not so devastating that they could not be repaired.
I love my mother dearly and I pray that I will be blessed to have her here with me for a very long time.