“When is the new baby coming?”
It’s happening more often, and hubby and I always give the same answer, “we’re enjoying Boogie, what’s the rush?” Sure, we’ve talked about baby #2, and maybe in a year or two we’ll start trying again, but we want to enjoy every moment with Boogie.
I didn’t love being pregnant, but I didn’t hate it either, if that makes sense. I was fortunate enough not to have morning sickness, but my exhaustion levels were off the charts. At times, I felt like I could sleep for days. I just didn’t feel like myself at all, and although it was a beautiful experience, I’m not ready to jump back on the bandwagon so soon.
I remember being almost 6 months pregnant, and getting a cold that lasted 6 weeks! It was awful, and then to top if off, my incessant coughing resulted in me having extremely sore ab muscles, and I could barely breathe or walk. No home remedies worked; I had to literally let it run its course.
Aside from being ambivalent about pregnancy, most individuals don’t understand just how difficult it was conceiving Boogie. Infertility was a real part of our lives, and only those close to us were made aware of the painful details.
Prior to Boogie, it would crush me when people would ask when we were going to have kids. So many times I wanted to run away and hide in shame. The pain of the unknown caused a lot of anxiety around those types of conversations.
When did it become par for the course for complete strangers to boldly ask you about your fertility? What if you had no intentions of ever having children? What if a childhood illness rendered you infertile? Why does any of that matter?
It’s almost like you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. If you don’t have kids, your personal choices are criticized; if you do have kids, you’re parenting is criticized, loudly. Everyone’s a critic, no matter where you are.
Society would be a better place if people learned to mind their own business. Everything does not require an outside opinion. A snide comment could push someone over the edge.
Infertility is real, and carries enough weight on its own; no additional burden is needed.