I didn’t always want to be a mother. I can remember on my 18th birthday telling my mom and grandma that I didn’t want kids. The consensus was that I didn’t like kids, and to be honest that was true. I really didn’t like kids, and didn’t see how they could improve on my life. After all, I was 18, heading off to college about to live my best life. I look back at that memory and chuckle.
I met my husband right after I turned 21, and after asking him if he had kids (I’d made the mistake of dating a few guys who had children, and was hoping to avoid that), we began hanging out and eventually started dating. It wasn’t until we had been dating for about 3 years, that I finally realized that I could actually see myself having kids with him.
Looking back, I realize that I had no real reason for why I didn’t like kids, I think I was more concerned with being able to do whatever I wanted, and having kids just felt like such an inconvenience. In hindsight, I’m sure my family was pleased to hear me say I didn’t want children, as clearly I wasn’t mature enough at that time.
When hubby and I began trying to get pregnant, it felt like a cruel joke each time I had a negative pregnancy test; could all those years of swearing off children jinxed me? Was i ever going to get pregnant? Each month became an emotional battle for me. But as I’ve said before, good things come to those who wait.
I was talking to a cousin of mine a few weeks ago, and told her how I felt that God made the right decision in making me wait to be a mother. When I got pregnant at 30, hubby and I were emotionally, physically and financially ready to be parents. Had we gotten our wish at ages 25 and 26, it likely would have been a disaster. We weren’t even close to being ready, and simply thought that we could take on the responsibility of caring for another human being. Too often we think we’re ready for what we’re asking for, but God clearly knows that sometimes you must wait. I’m glad I didn’t give up or lose my faith.
Whatever your faith is, I hope that good things come your way today and always.
Have a good night.